This story blends dark romance with comedy, so while there are moments designed to make you swoon or laugh, it also delves into some pretty intense and twisted territory. "Til death do us part" might be a more literal concern for these characters.

Please read with care.

Here's a heads-up on what you'll find inside:

• Surveillance cameras as a love language
• Creative uses for nail guns
• Eyeball extraction
• Panic rooms that become very unsafe spaces
• Murder boards made of actual murder
• A gas station bathroom death via decorative fish (yes, really)
• Basement furnaces with a very specific purpose
• Various sharp objects used for non-kitchen activities
• Blood spatter as interior decorating
• Explicit sex scenes including public fingering, phone sex with candy, knife play, anal play, restraints, praise kink, choking, and other activities that would scandalize your grandmother
• Parental murder and childhood trauma
• Stalking presented as courtship (don't try this at home)
• A secret society of murderers with surprisingly good organizational skills
• Torture scenes that are disturbingly artistic

It's a book about serial killers finding love, so expect murder, mayhem, and questionable life choices throughout.

This is fiction! In real life, please don't follow strangers home, install cameras in people's apartments, or use kitchen utensils as weapons. Also, if someone breaks into your home and leaves you dinner, call the police, not a wedding planner.

Happy reading, you beautiful, twisted souls! ✕